“Coca-Cola, Homeopathic or Hoax?”or “Homeopathy Part Zwei.”
But after telling my husband about my idea, either he wasn’t listening or all he heard was, “Coca-Cola…blah…blah…blah,” and was looking for an excuse to go shopping. So when he returned from the store with an armload of German carbonated drinks, I too somehow jumped onto the fizzy express.
Let me preface this blog with:
1.) I do not personally endorse any of these products.
2.) I don’t even like drinking carbonated liquids…unless they have alcohol in them.
3.) I am a devoted water drinker. Scratch that, Water Connoisseur (Long Live Poland Springs! Oh, how I miss you!).
But why not share with my friends a little bit of what’s available here.
How this all started…
It wasn’t until the end of yesterday, after having transformed back from a belly-aching, puking, zombie and lying on the couch with a splitting headache that a neighbor rang the door, heard the news and recommended I drink flat coke, which was supposed to help settle my stomach.
And then the crazy German/English antics started in our house:
Me: “Flat coke? How do you make flat coke? By the time it’s flat, of course I’ll feel better because it will be days from now.”
My husband: “You just take one of those things…oh, what are they called in English? How we make the salad dressing.”
Me: “A whisk?”
My husband: “Yeah. And you just whisk it.”
Me to myself: Sure, ’cause that will work. The only way I drink soda is if there is alcohol in it, now you want me to drink it flat. Hm? I wonder if some Bacardi in the flat coke would help?
Me to my husband: “Did you use caffeine-free or regular Coke?”
My husband: “Regular.”
Me to myself: Great now I’ll be up all night.
A few seconds later, he is back with flat coke.
My husband: “Yeah, like four or five times whisking really fast and it was done.”
So I drank the icky flat mix without alcohol. It helped my headache, much I’m sure like the caffeine in Excedrin cures headaches, and it didn’t keep me up all night. I can’t really say if it was a cure or not for an upset stomach because the worst was already over by the time I drank the flat coke. But it did make me re-think the irony of puking immediately after writing the blog about homeopathic medicine… And well, drinks in Germany in general.
As an American, I am used to not only receiving complimentary water at any restaurant in which I eat, but I also expect the water to not be carbonated.
In Germany, expect to pay for the water and expect to have bubbles in the water. And if there is an option for medium or low bubbles, there really isn’t a difference. There are still friggin’ bubbles in the water.
As a result, the only thing I have truly mastered in perfect German is, “Stilles Wasser, bitte.” Translated in English, “Real water without bubbles, Biatch.” Ok, not really. It just means, water without bubbles, please.
But here is a true story. The last time there was a mix up and I unknowingly guzzled carbonated water, when I came up for air, the bottle was immediately launched back at the gas station who sold it to me…AND it hit a propane tank. Couldn’t do that again if I tried.
On to soda pop fizzy drinks…
Some things I already knew about Coca-Cola before moving to Germany:
1.) It was originally created and used as a medicine with cocaine in it.
2.) It can dissolve rust off a nail.
3.) It comes in several different forms, but when it has zero caffeine and zero calories, what the h*ll am I really drinking?
4.) It goes great with rum, or Vanilla Stoli, or whiskey, or pretty much any alcohol.
New things I learned about Coca-Cola since moving to Germany:
1.) Flat coke is supposed to cure an upset tummy.
2.) It still tastes good with almost any alcohol in Germany.
3.) During WWII, the US had an embargo against Germany. Since the German subsidiary of Coca-Cola didn’t have access to the “secret” ingredient, they did what any soda-addicted country would do…made their own version. Or something like it, because Fanta was born.
And when Coke and Fanta mate…This is their offspring. Mezzo Mix – Cola Kissed Orange
Schwip Schwap – Cola + Orange. Where there is Coke we will also find Pepsi. Here is Pepsi’s version of Mezzo Mix.
Vita Cola – with a Citrus Kick and Vitamin C
This is Eastern Germany’s Cola. Apparently this cola has been well-known since Eastern Germany was previously known as the German Democratic Republic (GDR).
Bionade – For the Bio-Conscious drinkers (Lychee, Alder, Quince). I’ve never heard of these fruits even after we translated them from German to English.
Coca-Cola’s answer to trying to take back the market of Bio-Conscious drinkers who went to Bionade. We thought the name choice was funny. “The Spirit of Georgia,” and is only sold in Germany.
Relentless Energy Drink – Also a Coca-Cola product. If anyone has seen this in the US, let me know. I saw one person blog about it being in the US, but I can’t confirm anywhere else online if it is actually sold in the US.
With all of these soda possibilities in our house, I have yet to drink any. Too many bubbles for my taste, but maybe tomorrow when I feel better there will be a taste test…to see what tastes best with Bacardi or Vanilla Stoli.
I feel like there should be some kind of advertisement jingle to conclude this blog. I guess this will have to do, “Wanna Fanta, Don’t You Wanna?”