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The Golden Arches of Deutschland Go Green

The Golden Arches of Deutschland Go Green
Monday night conversation…

Kay: I had the dumbest cashier lady at McDonald’s tonight.

Me: What happened?

Kay: I asked for the quarter pounder, which is known as the Royal Käse (Royal Cheese) in Germany, but it’s not on the official menu.

Sophie: Interrupting in German…No clue what was said.

Kay: And she didn’t know what I meant. She wanted to give me… something else. And then she finally asked a colleague.

Sophie: Interrupting…(In German) Papa, you need to only speak German to her.

Me: Grrr! Du must nur Deutsch sprechen. (You must only speak German to her – in my high-pitched mimicking voice).

Sophie reaches into her Happy Meal box.

Sophie: (In German) Ah, the stupidest toy ever. That stupid bimbo gave me the wrong toy.


Me: What did she just say? Did she just call the lady a stupid bimbo (Blöde Tussi)?

Kay: (Guilty look)

Me: Did you call the McDonald’s lady a stupid bimbo in the car?

Kay: Of course, where do you think she got that from?

Me: (I flashed the “bad, daddy” look.) Nice.

Me to Sophie: What toy did you want?

Sophie: (In German) It was a toy from the TV show “Deutschland sucht den Superstar.”

Kay: (Translating to English) Germany’s Next Superstar.

Sophie: Nein… “Deutschland sucht den Superstar.”

Kay: (In German) Sophie, you can’t always translate everything word-for-word.

Sophie: (In German) Yes, but…there is another show “Germany’s next Superstar.” This was “Germany searches for a Superstar.”

Me: AH-HAaaaaa. Sometimes you have to translate word-for-word.

Going to McDonald’s in Germany is similar to the US, but here are some differences.

1.)    Germans eat mayonnaise on their fries (and now I do too). Yum!

2.)    Expect to pay for packets of ketchup and mayonnaise.

3.)    Going to McDonald’s is maybe a once a month or once every two month’s event.

4.)    McCafe’s are integrated into almost every McDonald’s – Instead of offering just Espresso’s as they do in the US, there is a whole additional section in McDonald’s called a McCafe.

5.)    McDonald’s is being re-branded as “green” (I find this to be completely amusing).


The first time I entered a “green” McDonald’s, I noticed there were electric doors at the entrance and flat screen TV’s inside. Obviously they take us for idiots.

Apparently my definition of “green” is different than what McDonald’s had in mind. Supposedly they have, or some of them will have, solar panels, heat pumps, and wind turbines.

It’s obviously another ploy to target the environmental Europeans.

I don’t care how “green” McDonald’s becomes. I go there to buy fatty-food and yummy, greasy fries. If my principals were larger than my addicted taste buds, I wouldn’t be eating there.

And, if McDonald’s truly cared about the environment, it wouldn’t be a fast food restaurant; it would be a pick-your-own-fruit-off-the-tree then pull-your-own-veggies-out-of-the-ground restaurant. And they wouldn’t keep expanding their empire with new restaurants ubiquitously around the globe.

No matter what they do, or how they spin their marketing, it’s still the same McDonald’s food. That is the reason people flock to McDonald’s regardless of the country in which you live or in what country you are visiting.

The “green” thing is just a tactic to make us think we are being better citizens and lift some guilt from anyone who may be teetering on the edge of being an environmentalist and a closet McDonald’s addict.

No worries though, McDonald’s…you’re secret’s safe with me.


  1. Richard Litchfield03-08-12

    It’s so great to read stuff like this from another American’s perspective. Intellectually, I KNOW I am not the only American here, but there are times when I feel like such a confused, goofy American.

    You probably noticed the general sizes of the drinks are significantly smaller and the very concept of “super-sized” is distinctly American.

    Here in Siegburg, we have a McDonald’s express. I find the concept very interesting because I guess this is fast-fast food(?)

    Eating McDonald’s abroad is a true testament to the corporate homogeneity that is Micky D’s. (The KFC’s here are terrible in my opinion by the way )

    • Mommy03-09-12

      McDonald’s Express? That’s funny. I agree about the KFC’s. As for being an American expat…I know what you mean. I’m not sure where you live, but I don’t live in a big enough city to have a lot of Americans. But there seem to be a fair amount of expats.

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