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We don’t dial 9-1-1 in Germany

25 Apr Posted by in Uncategorized | 1 comment
We don’t dial 9-1-1 in Germany
 
Being an American, I have to admit that when I first saw this sign hanging outside a family member’s house, yes, I did laugh. I know, how American of me.

But now that I live in Germany, I can safely say we don’t dial 911 here either.

Not because of a gun, obviously, but because the emergency numbers are different.

112 is for Medical and Fire Emergencies and 110 is for Police Emergencies.

When Kay is away on business, I always bring the phone to bed with me and set it on the nightstand next to my head. If “God forbid” something were to happen, I want to be able to dial for Police or Ambulance quickly.

This is the consequence of having been reared in America… Otherwise known as “American Paranoia.”

The only problem is that I can never remember which number is for what type of emergency.

So those dreams where you try to dial 911 but for some reason your finger keeps hitting the wrong buttons. Well now I can’t even get to that part of the nightmare; I just have a panic attack because I can’t remember which number to use.

In the US, 9-1-1 is engrained into our heads since even before we are old enough to count. Yes, I know that doesn’t really make sense, but neither does the over-zealous paranoia that exists across the nation.

So how in the heck do the Germans remember which number to use?

And what happens if someone breaks into your house, you catch them, and since you don’t have a gun just beat them over the head with a baseball bat until they are unconscious? Do you dial 1-1-0 for Police because you have an intruder, or do you dial 1-1-2 because you now have a bloody mess in your house?

Hey, it could happen. Right?

Kay just contributed to my American Paranoia by reminding me that we can safely say that over 98% of German households don’t own a baseball bat. (Hel-LO! American sport, not German.)

Crap! How the heck am I supposed to beat the intruder unconscious?

Brass knuckles. Momma needs a new set of brass knuckles.

Or one of these!



american-police-car-in-germany

 
We saw this car in a parking lot in Germany. Still says, “Santa Barabara County Sheriff,” on the hood.

Just in case I can’t remember which number to use.

Isn’t there some kind of nursery rhyme to help me remember or something? Let’s see… We call bruises/abrasions “black and blue.” And ghetto speak for Police is “Po-Po.” So how about…

1-1-2 for Black and Blue and Holla 1-1-0, “Yo! Po-Po!”

I think I can remember these until Amazon.com starts selling brass knuckles.


  1. Adam04-25-12

    Haha! I really enjoyed this. I can never remember either. When I had my phone stolen, I was completely lost and didn’t know what to do or who to call (or how to dial…since my phone had just been stolen!) but luckily there was a friendly German woman nearby who took control.

    Hope you don’t have to use the numbers!
    Adam recently posted..Camper’s guide to UK indie music festivalsMy Profile

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