I haven’t been back to the US since July of last year and it seems like the closer the time comes, the more difficult the waiting is to the point that I start to feel down, depressed, and agonizingly homesick.
I start to reminisce and think of all the wonderful things I miss most. Unfortunately, most of them entail food… well and family too, of course.
I am excited that Fynn will be surrounded with a bunch of English speakers, and I am curious to see if his language skills start to rapidly improve.
He said his first real English word the other day, “Please,” which involved food (go figure, just like his mother), but luckily he quickly learned that he can say “please” to receive just about anything with that cute little voice of his. (I don’t count him saying the words “ball” or “shoes” as his first English words because they are the same in both English and German).
Lately Fynn has been going through a “shy” phase so I hope my loud family can cure him of that quickly. And my aunt and uncle have a pool, so I hope we can tap into his amphibian skills and help curb any water fears.
But what makes me miss the US the most is seeing my mom. Not so much for me, but for Fynn and her.
We Skype often and Fynn gets excited to see Grandma on camera. He is constantly trying to touch her face and in the past has given her mouth-to-screen kisses. She even taught him how to blow kisses through Skype.
For most of my life, I have lived on the West coast of the US with my mom’s side of the family on the East. The separation always sucked, but my family always valued the time in which we were all able to get together.
Now that I have a child of my own, being so far from Mom and Dad completely sucks and more often than not, I wish Fynn had all Grandma’s at once. Plus, searching for babysitters would be a lot easier.
I love when Fynn goes to Oma’s, but I have a harder time asking Oma for help than asking my own mother, of course. (For some reason I don’t want to be a burden. I know, I need to get over it.)
For now, I am still in my “Oh, what a gloomy day,” phase because 11 days still seems too far away.
Next comes the “stress” phase while trying to get packed.
Then comes “nervous” because I am afraid we will miss our flight or something.
Then on to “fear” because I don’t want to be “that” parent with a screaming child on an international flight (the plus side is that the flight is long enough in which Fynn can hopefully redeem himself if he ever falls asleep and make people think he is an expert traveler). Until finally, we land in the US and I get my first hug from my cousin.
Right now, the anticipation is so high that my mind has made this perfect vacation in my head.
The only problem is that I know once I get there, the reality sets in and everything isn’t quite like I remembered; the idea and the memory of certain things are sometimes better than actuality.
The last time I was in Washington, I was excited to eat a specific dish from a local restaurant, and then once I took a bite, it wasn’t like I remembered and didn’t live up to my expectation.
And I know that after a week or so, I will start cursing about how I hate this, that or the other thing and how Germany does it so much better. Well, at least that’s what happened in Washington. This time around, I am hitting up my safe haven, Florida, which hasn’t ever disappointed me in the past.
In the mean time, I am looking forward to the trip, but I know I must remind myself that it isn’t going to be the way I imagine it in my head and that the grass isn’t greener on the other side of the pond.
The palm trees are though. We don’t have palm trees here, so I know they will indeed be greener.