Who needs an at-home pregnancy test… | Expat-Mom

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Who needs an at-home pregnancy test…

06 Aug Posted by in Family Life | Comments
Who needs an at-home pregnancy test…
When my husband has a built-in bitch-om-eter? It’s true. Yes, we are expecting baby number two! Hoo-ray! But we didn’t really need the at-home pregnancy test. You see, before I even peed on a stick, Kay asked, “Are you sure you aren’t pregnant?… Cause you’re really bitchy.”

Now most women might take offense to such a comment, but the thing about me is that I’m usually the first to call myself out on acting bitchy. I will openly admit, “I’m being a big Bitch. But I’m really hungry, tired, and I just can’t control myself.”

This usually renders Kay speechless. I mean, how does a husband respond to that? And I sure as heck don’t take offense if he agrees.

Even when I’m not pregnant, an almost daily “conversation” occurs due to the fact that I am hungry at five-o-clock and Kay’s European metabolism is only just beginning to ask what we should consider to have for dinner. Five-o-clock is about the time he finally plans a trip to the grocery store, not taking into account the time to cook the food. At which point, I have to bluntly say, “I’m hungry and bitchy and I don’t care what we eat.”

I shouldn’t complain because he is doing the shopping and cooking (I should point out that if he wasn’t responsible for these tasks, he wouldn’t be contributing to household chores at all… yes, I take out the trash and recycling too).

But, what I’ve learned is that he just hasn’t seen “bitchy” until I’m tired, hungry, and well… pregnant.

On the day we learned I was pregnant, Kay went to the store, returned, and I peed on a stick. It was so early in the pregnancy that the line barely showed up. As Kay was second-guessing, and wavering back-and-forth… “Hm? Maybe? Nah… I wonder… is it?”

I said, “If there is even a glimpse of a second line, it’s positive.”

Other than the bitchiness, I wasn’t having any major symptoms. So the next day, I peed on another stick.

Why do we do that? (You know what I’m talking about.)

And then a couple days before our trip to the US, I was at the doctor’s office having an ultrasound.

5 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

I was elated and at the same time, freaked out. I was about to embark on a 6-and-a-half week trip to the US with absolutely no US health insurance.

Ok, we purchased traveler’s insurance, but the way that typically works is that you have to pay any medical bills first, then get reimbursed later.

Not to mention that medical bills normally have to be translated to the local language. As if anyone understands all that medical billing terminology anyway.

And this is during the first trimester… the most critical period of a pregnancy. Yikes!

My next thought was, “At least we have an OBGYN in the family… Oh wait… she lives in North Carolina, a state we actually aren’t planning to visit.* Not to mention that just might make for an awkward relationship. Hey, haven’t seen you in a few years, can you take a peek at my twat? Something just isn’t right down there.”

Thankfully there weren’t any medical emergencies.

I didn’t really want to tell people that I was pregnant yet, but by week 8, I was already showing. Kind of hard to hide a pregnancy while wearing a swimsuit. And since I typically drink like a fish, my cousins knew immediately.

Not wanting to tell wasn’t so much about the fear of having a medical emergency; it had more to do with the fact that we were gathered together in honor of my cousin’s wedding. I felt it was the couples time, not mine.

But… my family consists of a bunch of loud and happy people who love a reason to celebrate something new any time and for any one. So a new baby in the family meant another reason to raise their glasses and to hand out more hugs.

I am now about 18 weeks along and had my second ultrasound upon my return to Germany (at 13.5 weeks), so I am feeling a bit more confident in sharing the news with everyone.

I hadn’t abandoned the blog while I was away… I just felt nauseous every time the idea of picking up the laptop popped into my head.

No offense though. I am blaming it on the smell of the new laptop.

And actually, as a reader you should feel quite special. You see, when I’m pregnant, standing too close to my husband also makes me nauseous. But I still love him too, of course.

So maybe the things I love most make me nauseous when I’m pregnant, but the bitch-om-eter detected it first. Thank you, Kay.

Please consider it an “I just learned I was pregnant, now I’m going to the US for the summer” hiatus.

Sorry for the unplanned blog hiatus, but even our favorite TV shows don’t have new programming all-year-round.

In other life changing news… I have decided to return to work. Part-time. I realized that I just wasn’t “stay-at-home mom” material. Last week was my first full-time, part-time gig. But more on that later.


*We did not visit North Carolina. We did however visit (or drive through), Florida, Georgia, a piece of South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, and back to Florida. (And yes, I had to use the special way of sounding out Mississippi in my head in order to type it just now. M-i-ss-i-ss-i-pp-i)

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